OpenAI has introduced 'Workspace Agents', a sophisticated strategy to replace substance with automation and let AI manage your business chaos. Now available (for free, for two weeks) to loftier ChatGPT Business and Enterprise users, these agents claim to seamlessly interact within apps like Slack and Salesforce to auto-draft emails, manage data, and potentially order pizza without Googling 'how to pizza' first. Enterprises can only imagine the possibilities as these agents are unleashed to wreak havoc upon the intricate balance of office rotas and frayed nerves. 'After these last few months of agent mayhem in development, we are ecstatic to see them go off-leash,' said Marvel Mirthman, OpenAI's not-at-all-worried spokesperson. 'Now, agents will flawlessly persist across sessions, take actions that users forget to monitor, and generate schedules that conflict but at convenient times.' Using the brotherhood-with-Codex, these agents promise to perform delicate tasks like tying shoelaces via APIs and provide opportunities for cybersecurity experts and ethical auditors to start spontaneous poetry sessions about 'Unauthenticated Data Access.' Authentication levels remain robustly insufficient, allowing agents to potentially mimic users down to their habit of misspelling 'success.' As the standard for Custom GPTs is quietly retired (R.I.P.), users can look forward to this unattended AI management system, supposedly leaving teams with the novel burden of remembering to look believable when 'hearing' an AI's reassurances. 'We plan for agents to eventually understand customer queries or at least sound like they might have,' Mirthman added reassuringly, while securely logging in as his administrator role. The era of the digital coworker is stealthily off idle.